


Denial

by viktoire



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viktoire/pseuds/viktoire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't miss her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first H/M piece and my first AO3 work — enjoy! :3

1.  
He doesn't miss her when he's alone, slumped on his kitchen floor and staring down through the clear bottom of salvation in a shotglass at 4 a.m. His dignity no longer intact, he cries until his tears become merely tired eyes and drinks until the sharp ache is a dull throbbing. He almost succeeds in forgetting, but he still can't shake the sound of her victorious laughter ringing through the Officer's Club as she drinks another General under the table.

2.  
He doesn't miss her when he's in the operating room of an everyday hospital, staring down at someone's insides and attempting to calm the churning of his own with a deep breath. He grounds himself with the reality that he won't be searching for shrapnel. The nurse, while blonde and pretty and talented, is no her, he admits. Still, he doesn't miss the easy rhythm they'd always fall into, the effortless exchange of instruments and intuitive glances that were silently understood.

3.  
He doesn't miss her when the nightmares jolt him from his sleep, sweating and trembling and barely holding onto whatever sanity the war was gracious enough to leave behind in its wake. Head in his hands, he slams his eyes shut, trying to replace the resonating smell of blood with the smell of her hair, the unwanted flashes of bloody limbs with flashes of her smile. It's just a convenient contrast, he reasons.

4.  
He doesn't miss her when he forces himself to go out on dates, forever trying to convince innocent, wide-eyed, optimistic women that he, too, is all of those things. Later, in the darkness of a cheap hotel room, he doesn't pretend the woman in his arms is anyone but exactly who she is. Doesn't think of another woman's skin warmed by his breath, another woman's hips under his fingertips, another woman's whispered pleas in his ear. He catches her name on his lips before he can moan it aloud.

5.  
He's not in denial and no, he doesn't miss her.


End file.
